Chocolate Cake

In Promo by Ether

“I used to frequent a bakery that served the most decadent chocolate cake you’ve ever tasted.”

“The cake was moist and melted right in your mouth. The homemade fudge frosting was rich and creamy, complimenting the cake perfectly. The best part was this hint of orange liqueur that turned it from extraordinary to fucking orgasmic.”

“I fell in love with that dessert. It would be my go to item every time I visited that establishment. It didn’t matter what else they offered, all that mattered to me was that slice of chocolate heaven.”

“Overtime, however, they changed the recipe to cut costs. It started with the cake itself losing its signature moisture and becoming a dry, depressing shell of its former self.”

“The frosting became overpowering, demanding your attention as you bit into your piece. It also tasted store bought too, like something you’d get from Betty Crocker.”

“Worst of all, the orange liqueur was gone. In its place was a subtle taste of disappointment and dashed memories.”

“After spitting in my face one too many times, I stopped visiting that bakery. They ruined what I liked and replaced it with an abomination.”

“I’m sure you know that feeling all too well, don’t you Zero?”

“You used to be every woman’s little piece of heaven. According to you, bitches flocked to your dick like I scrambled for that cake.”

“You apparently satisfied their every need back then. Not only that, but you also had them crawling back for more once they had a small taste of what you offered.”

“Then one day, either because you had to or you wanted to, you got those bionic parts of yours. Sure they might’ve found it cool at first, but the experience wasn’t as amazing as it was with your human parts.”

“Your robotic arm ended up crushing their windpipes quicker than they could get any enjoyment out of them. Your metallic torso makes those after fucking cuddle sessions cold and lifeless.”

“Worst of all, your mechanically enlarged cock only succeeds in hurting those you aim to pleasure.”

“The more implants you received, the less enjoyable the ordeal was for them. Eventually, those sluts you’ve fucked left you for more pleasant fuck buddies like my boy Tag.”

“Sucks knowing that you’re not the most cherished item on the menu, doesn’t it Zero? Had you not gotten all those ‘upgrades’ to become a hacking and fighting cyborg, you’d probably still have some whores slobbering over your dick.”

“Hell, I probably would’ve given you a chance had it not been for those ‘enhancements’. You could’ve been my new chocolate cake with a hint of orange liqueur.”

“Instead, me and Sexy Dynamite will knock your ass to kingdom come like the abomination you are. You and your cunt of a heated fleshlight Pyre have spat in our faces one too many times.”

“On Rust Out, you, Pyre, and the world will find out why Jet Set Radio are destined to be tag champions.”

“And if they don’t then fuck the world and fuck you too!”