In Albert Lamplight, Promo by Albert Lamplight

[Meet Benjamin.] 

[Complete darkness.] 

[Heavy breathing.]

[Then, a ringing.

“Arcadia Emergency Services.”

Help me.

[The pleading, a whisper that’s been cut in half.]

“What’s going on? Can you tell me who I’m speaking with?” 

My name… is Benjamin. Please send police to… to… Illumination… 

“I’m sorry. Illumination? Do you know what level you’re on?”

Illumination Antiques! I’m… I’m underground. I don’t know how many levels. I… I worked for him as his book…as his book-k-keeper… and I…

[Through the darkness above him, Benjamin is startled by a loud engine noise – generators, which switch on two faint lightbulbs in the barren basement space.] 

“Did you say you’re underground?” 

Yes… I found an elevator in… in the storage room, at the bottom of the goddamn antique store, do you understand? An elevator that led to another level that had… that had… 

[Benjamin starts to grow frustrated, slapping the concrete that he sits on.] 

“Just take a couple of breaths here, Benjamin, and we’ll work through this together.” 

I don’t have time. Look, he has people. Living fucking people down in this – whatever this hole is.

“We are working on getting officers out to your location, Benjamin. Did you speak to these people?”

I tried… but they didn’t move. It looked like they’re lips were fused together… but their eyes… I think I’m going to be sick. 

“Okay, take another deep breath. You’re doing amazing, Benjamin. What about their eyes?”

They moved. They were trying to communicate, and they couldn’t. Then… he found me down there.

Who found you?” 

Lamplight. I went back into that caged elevator, and it just kept taking me down level by level – until all of the living people disappeared and there was nothing but… bodies. 


[Suddenly, the connection between Benjamin and the operator dies. Outside, the front of Illumination Antiques is now covered with police – with officers slowly approaching the front entrance with weapons drawn. The door opens with Mr. Lamplight standing with a smile on his face and his hands up.] 

“Well goodness me, welcome to Illumination Antiques! How can I assist you officers?” 

[An hour later. Albert and a handful of police officers seem to be having a casual conversation in the storage room, with a wall of bookcases behind them. They now, along with Albert, are holding cups of coffee. The sheriff even starts to apologize.] 

“You know, sometimes we get crazy people that try to pull stunts like this to get attention.”

[Albert nods his head and takes a slow sip of his coffee.]

“It’s a crazy little dome, isn’t it officers?” 

[The police officers all laugh along with the sheriff and Albert.] 

“That it is. Anyway, we’ve taken up enough of your time. Love your little store and thanks for the little tour and coffee.” 

[Albert nods with a smile – that slowly fades away once the police officers have left. He turns toward the bookshelf, eyeballs the variety with a faint whistle, and then pulls a book away – causing the entire shelf to slide away and expose the caged elevator. Albert takes a step towards it and looks down with a sigh.] 

“Looks like we must have ourselves a little discussion, Benny boy.”