Life of the Party

In Promo by Sir Renault


The one night every year where little boys and girls dress up and play make believe with their friends.

They shuttle from door to door, showing off their costumes and fake accessories, all so that they can be rewarded with some cheap candy.

I’ve seen too many children dress up as holy knights, not understanding the responsibility and sacrifice that armor represents.

It’s all false idolatry.

Similar to Halloween, I see all sorts of costumes worn in the Slaughterhouse. Some are part of the wearers’ identity, but some are a facade.

You remind me of those children who run from house to house for candy, Andy.

You dress like a clown and paint your face like one, and you run from one altercation to the next, cackling like a sugar-high child seeking attention from the adults here in OSW.

Craving recognition and interaction.

You like to play God and interact with your toys, and although you’ve turned some of the more unfortunate wrestlers here into your own toys, toys are in fact all they are.

They’re not beings. They have no souls.

You see, SeeSaw, hiding behind that clown facade is an artificially-created little boy who seeks comfort in toy-making because you’re void of any real-life connections to other living beings.

You are no god. And your soul was shattered from your inception.

You are merely the comedic relief of Phineas Moody’s carnival. The laughing stock of the show.

You’re just a joke. A sad joke.

And a false idol to boot.

And the torture you put your victims through is an escape from that tragic reality.

Vayikra doesn’t wear our masks for show. These masks are our armor. Our true identity is that of God’s warriors. We accept that responsibility, and we wage war with the same men and women who you treat as action figures.

We don’t hide behind a facade like you.

And after that torture you put my brother and I through at FTW, you may want to escape from your reality at Revolt.

Because reality is that OSW isn’t presently celebrating Halloween.

But for one night only, Sir Vant has blessed us to throw you and your ringmaster a Halloween party.

We’ve picked you out a new costume from your favorite store: Party City!

You’ll even get to wear new face paint. We decided a crimson mask would perfectly match the crown of thorns we bought for you!

You’ll be the life of the party when everyone sees your new costume.

That is, before the rest of your blood drains from where we stake you to your crucifix.

Playtime is over.

This won’t be make believe, and there is more at stake than just candy.

There’s going to be real consequences for what you did to us— YAHWEH shall reward us handsomely when we cleanse your souls.

And that closeness you desire will be fulfilled when we get you closer to God.

Your Father, the creator, will love your costume.

It’ll remind him of that fish you made him.

Just don’t forget to say “trick or treat” when you meet him at the party.

Deus vult.