“A few years ago, I had the pleasure of meeting one of the world’s greatest adventurers.”
“He was known across the globe as the best. Forget Crocodile Dundee, forget Steve Irwin. This guy was an absolute legend.”
“His name was Wylie Wade, and he was the adventurer that all those other flakes wish they could be.”
“Wylie Wade was an internet sensation. He was the adventurer who had the balls to do the unthinkable.”
“He had wrestled a crocodile, boxed a kangaroo, rubbed the belly of the bear.”
“He had been grabbing nature by the balls and having his way with it for the past decade.”
“Wylie had seemingly done it all. All except for one thing that no man had ever done. Something that many before him had attempted, and lost their lives in the process.”
“Wylie Wade would venture deep into the jungle. The hike alone sent most men back to where they came from. But he would attempt to venture into the heart of the jungle where he would drop into a lion’s den and attempt to either tame him, or fight his way out.”
“By the time Wylie Wade reached the lion’s den, his energy had already been depleted. Yet ole Wylie was stubborn in his ways. He prepared himself both mentally and physically before dropping down into the den where a very hungry and eager lion awaited his descent.”
“Try as he might, Wylie Wade could not fend off the lion for long. In his last published video to the internet, Wylie Wade was dismembered..”
“Torn limb for limb before our very eyes.”
“Chip Montana.. you remind me a lot of my dear friend Wylie Wade.”
“You’ve ventured into the OSW wild with the intent to grab nature by the balls and have your way with it!”
“You traveled across the lands, tracking down that pesky critter of a rabbit.”
“You’ve ventured into the Toybox and boxed the Kangaroo.”
“And just last week, you attempted to trap a fiesty bear within your trap but failed.”
“You’ve seemingly done everything a great adventurer could ever accomplish, except for the one thing that has haunted each traveler before you.”
“This week at High Voltage is your chance to claim the fame that Wylie Wade never could.”
“This week, you will descend down that Old School Wrestling ramp and enter the lion’s den.”
“There I will be lying in wait, a thirsty, hungry, and very eager lion who’s next meal has willingly presented himself to me.”
“This week, your adventous mind becomes your biggest mistake. Just like those before you, you will fall to the lion.”
“You may attempt to put up a good fight.. but your lasting memory will be one of being dismembered.”
“Torn limb from limb and ravaged by a beast that was much greater than you could have ever imagined.”
“Because nobody makes it out of this lion’s den alive.”
“Kneel before the Prince of the Underworld.”
“For this lion isn’t as tameable as those other animals you’ve crossed paths with.”