In Promo by The Impaler

We once watched as village once fell to one man who used his sex appeal to sleep with the wives and some husbands in the village.  

This walking erection, used his sensuality to worm his way into just about every bed in the village.  

To put it crassly he would’ve, “Fucked the World” if he could’ve. 

His needs are the only ones that mattered even in the face of his friend’s sorrow and loss.   

When the village found out that this shallow hole filler had been in the beds of everyone in this township, the fighting began, and soon the town burned. 

All the while the penis with legs who caused the chaos just sauntered away from the inferno he built.    

When it comes to village that is OSW you have one man whose used his natural charisma and sex appeal along with a group of friends to do the same. 

This stick of Sexy Dynamite is already blowing up the friendship of an intergalactic traveler and a Lover of All.  By stoking the protectiveness of one and while exploiting the lust of the other. 

Then in the face of his Pelican friend’s tears and heart ache he didn’t ask what was wrong, but instead, “WHY?”  As he beat him within an inch of his life, while the Funky Pelican did nothing to fight back. 

Meanwhile his other, Hungrier friend had her lights put out week after week after week by a bunch of Bad Mother Fuckers. 

Then when given the why he sought, this smeg-head most recently mocked the near-death state of a father figure of his best friend.  With friends like him who needs enemies?    

All that mattered was the Dynamite’s rage, the Dynamite’s feelings, and now while he’s not looking to blow up the OSW community.  He does seem poised to set alight his friendship. 

That’s the thing about you Tag, you don’t care about the feelings of others, even your friends.  All you care about is sticking your dick in someone, or maybe even having one stuck in you, and we don’t judge you on that, no. 

But we watched as you shamelessly beat the shit out of Wiz, and you asked, “Why?” as in “Why did you do this to ME?  Why did you make ME look like a fool?” 

It’s all about Tag, and now thanks to that Jet Set Radio is stick of dynamite waiting to blow itself up and we’re the match that will light that fire. 

Because of your narcissism we now know where the soft underbelly of your team is, and that’s your lack of empathy for any of your friends. 

We know that you’re no better than the walking erection who caused a town filled with friends and families to tear itself apart.   

Oh, here’s a final cold truth that your friends will need to confront too, when Jet Set Radio implodes, you’ll just walk away not a fucking tear in your eye. 

So, Mr. Money Shot remember we are Legion and we are many, so you can go ahead and put your head between your legs and kiss Jet Set Radio goodbye.