Hi everyone! I’m Chip Montana! And I’m grabbing nature…
…
BY THE BALLS!!
Last FTW, me rabbit hunting partner, Seesaw, told me he trapped Dave in the Toybox.
Well, I came to the only Toybox I know of, and while I see lots of rabbits, none of them are what I’m looking for.
Apparently, Seesaw was referring to a different Toybox — one that isn’t an adult toy store.
But while I’m here, I figured I may as well get him a gift. After all, he’s an absolute fucking freak isn’t he? And this toybox is full of freaky shit he’s bound to enjoy.
For instance, look at this wall here! It’s covered with rubber dicks! I could pick you up a few and you could juggle them! Seesaw the Rubber Dick Juggler! Has a ring to it, don’t it mate?
But something tells me you’d rather cut off a few dicks and juggle fleshy ones. Hey, if body mutilation is your thing, good for you mate, but me own cock is off limits. You hear me?
Ah, here we go. An entire section devoted to BDSM shite. This ought to get your little polkadotted dick rock hard, Seesaw. Whips, chains, and torture devices of all shapes and sizes. The kinds of things people say playing with you inevitably leads to. I bet you’ll cum a neverending string of handkerchiefs right out of your penishole just looking at this wall of perverted shite!
…Is that your plan, Seesaw? Get me to bring you some whips and chains to try to use on me?
…
You sick son of a bitch! Haha! You rascal! Nice try, but if anyone is getting bent over and spanked on the ass, it’s you mate!
HOLY CROCODILES!! Look at this! A fuck machine! It has a giant cock attached to it! You could bend over someone and force them to take it in the fanny!
That’s bloody disgusting… And yet… The way you looked at me when you said “Toybox,” makes me think you might try to do just that.
Or worse. You’re an inventive little bugger, aren’t you?
If I brought you this thing, you’d probably try to modify it and chop me into bits, and turn it into the Chip Montanus Blaster 3000! You want to make me a fuck machine?
Too bad. I already am a fuck machine. And 3000? Well, that’s how many STD’s you’d catch trying to grab me by the balls! Haha!
Ah, here it is, the perfect gift for old Seesaw.
A FLESHLIGHT!!!
Because if you think you’re gonna trick ol’ Chippy, take him into some weird dungeon where you jack off to doing BDSM shit, sorry to tell you mate, but you can go fuck yourself!
I’m coming to get me rabbit. And I’m leaving with me rabbit.
And you can cry and fuck yourself while you watch my sexy ass carry Dave home!
Because, I like you. But I’m not your friend.
You don’t have friends, Seesaw. You’re gonna die alone.
Sorry bout it.