In Promo by Vigour

When I came to this earth I didn’t know much. I’ve been shaped by the reference points I’ve built up around myself. But I remember, as I awoke one Sunday morning to the sound of my host cleaning their house, and heard earth music for the first time, and I understood what music meant to humans. Back on Eden music was mostly instrumental, no voices, but I loved that the lyrics infuse a sense of meaning here. It’s fucking amazing, to be honest.

And the people who write these songs, I noticed they write them vague so people can latch on to the bits that sound like their own lives. That’s what I did. And that’s what you do, TGK. You don’t have your own references so all you can rely on is the references programmed into you back in the 80s. Well it just so happens that the lyrics are fucking perfect for my point.

The song I heard on that lazy Sunday was “Greatest Love of All” by Whitney Houston. I heard the line ‘I believe the children are our future, teach them well and let them lead the way’ and was hit, instantly, right in the feels. Shit, that’s goosebump level stuff, right? It’s a song about parenthood and doing the best job you can do.

Is it fuck.

It’s about you Kid. You’re the metaphorical children. You’re the literal future. You were sent here to help with whatever clusterfuck is heading our way, I know it. You’re the weapon, not like Impaler who is forced to be so, but because you know that it’s the right thing to do. And I’ve been lucky enough to be here the whole time as you learn.

I believe the Kid is the future, so I taught you as well as I could.

Now it’s time to let you lead the way. Are you ready? I haven’t the faintest fucking clue, but listen you’ve had me and Starboy to lean on, and we know all about the beauty people possess inside.

So fucking psyche yourself up, get the Generation Kid I know firing on all cylinders, and let 1984 Whitney Houston fuel you, Kid. This is my final lesson to you. This is my last chance to teach you well before you lead the way against the end of the fucking world. So don’t you dare let me down, Kid. I’m the proud dad at sports day as you run that egg and spoon over the finish line. I’m the soccer mom driving you around the country in all fucking weathers and climates just so you have a shot at reaching your potential.

I will never, EVER, not back you. This really is the greatest love of all because we’re family, and I need this lesson to hit home. Are you ready? Let’s begin the lesson. Let’s do it now and do it loud!