In Promo by Ether

“On one of my birthdays, I got a remote controlled car as a present.”

“It was made entirely by my uncle’s hands and given all the bells and whistles. To his credit, it looked like something you’d find on store shelves.”

“Then it came time for me to give it a test drive. My uncle handed me the remote and let me play with the toy for a little while.”

“The time I spent playing with it was fun as hell. The car was fast, responded well to my inputs, and was quickly on its way to becoming the best birthday present I ever received.”

“I don’t know what happened to it that caused it to immediately prove otherwise though. I guess the wires got crossed or something because the breaks stopped working not too long into my drive.”

“I tried as hard as I could to make it stop, but it just wouldn’t. The car was out of control and I had no way of stopping it from crashing into the wall at full speed, breaking it instantly.”

“My uncle fell into a deep depression after that. He thought he had everything built to perfection. To see the car fail to stop at such a pivotal moment was heart wrenching for him.”

“Another machine I know of is also in danger of crashing hard. The difference is that this contraption isn’t a remote controlled car.”

“You are quite an impressive model, TGK. Your creators gave you all the bells and whistles to make you look like a real human being. To their credit, you passed off as the real thing for quite a while.”

“Your test drive in OSW has seen you run through a number of people with your incredible strength, your amazing resilience, and your never give up mentality.”

“Recently however, your wires got crossed and you glitched out. You went out of control at Dead End and attacked everyone that happened to be in the ring with you.”

“This included your friend and partner Vigour, who tried as hard as he could to make you stop, but he just couldn’t.”

“I understand you were pissed, Kid, but losing control of yourself like that is dangerous to not only everyone around you, but also yourself. What will happen the next time you fly off the fucking handle like that?”

“You’ll crash and burn, that’s what. The next time it happens, however, you won’t pass out before you break apart.”

“Now that you’re in such an pivotal fight, a match for our titles, you’re in danger of falling to pieces once again. Will you be able to control yourself and snatch the championships?”

“No you won’t. I know how you machines work. The moment you fail to work as intended one time, you’re bound to fail again. Me and Tag will capitalize on that and reduce you to scrap metal while Vigour watches.”

“When we’re through with you, you’ll be turned into a fork and knife for the hungry girl.”