Final Destination

In Promo by The Generation Kid

“Imagine being on the most terrifying train journey of your life.”

“It’s fast, it’s furious and you feel like it can come off the tracks at any moment. There’re eight opportunities to get off and the very last one is your preferred destination, but the longer you’re on the train, the more likely it is that you’ll get hurt.”

“The first two stops are before the train ever really picks up any speed or momentum. As the train meanders towards them very early in the journey, you can make a safe exit – but you’re getting off into the middle of no-where; into relative nothingness.”

“The third and fourth stop are linked in proximity. It doesn’t matter which one you get off at, you’re going to end up in the same place with whoever gets off with you.”

“The fifth stop is where the speed starts picking up. The reward for getting off here has a little more prestige, but immediately after, the train starts getting faster and more dangerous.”

“The sixth stop is the one I would normally get off at. I’ve gotten off here safely many times before and I know it very well. The train ride here is a gnarly one, but manageable.”

“The seventh stop is where business picks up. The train ride there is fast paced and nervy. The carriages rock under the g-force of the speed you’re travelling at. If you manage to survive the journey and get off here, you’ll feel like you really achieved something.”

“And the eighth stop? That’s the most dangerous of all. Not many people make it there because the journey is so dangerous that it could cost you your life. Many have died trying to make it to the last stop and not many survive the trip. That’s where the entire train becomes a roaring inferno and to make it to the final destination, you need to do more than just get off the train – you need to survive.”

“Gold Rush is one long train journey, man.”

“There’s eight of us on this train roaring towards the inferno of a conclusion and we’ve all gotta decide what stop to get off at.”

“Do I get off at stops one and two, and walk away with my health, but nothing more?”

“Or do I hang on for three and four and risk getting off the train with someone I can’t stand to become Tag Team Champions?”

“Maybe I hang on for five and get off just before things pick up with the Double Feature title.”

“Then stop six is my usual stop. I know that well. I know I can survive the journey back to my Rewind Championship.”

“And just one stop further on from that at seven is the VHS title – a prestigious stop to get off at.”

“Or do I pass every single stop, hang on for dear life and hope to survive the raging inferno that’ll await me should I try and get off at stop eight and become the OSW World Champion.”

I’ll tell you which stop I’m getting off at..

Because I’m not getting off this fucking train until the wheels come off.