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Perhaps, you’d like to hear my take on the tale of three ambitious little pigs who stumbled upon a quiet clearing in the expansive forest.

While in a bubble of their own infinite excitement and wonder, they took the surrounding silence as enough evidence to declare the land as their own – and thus – 

They began to build their homes as emphatically as possible, throwing caution to subtle winds, as they laughed away the afternoon over their sheer windfall and the bright and beautiful future that would surely come with it.

After all, an ambitious pig is certain to have ambitious plans.

But as they finished the foundations of their habitats and rested their eyes until sunlight tip-tapped on their shoulders again, there was something at a distance – not entirely far and not entirely close – that was wide awake.


But not your average canus lupis.

You see, there was a reason why it seemed oh so quiet in this expansive forest, when those three little pigs arrived.

The wolf had killed everything – even his own.

This was his forest, his domain.

You respected it as such.

And you challenged that, you met the sharpness of his tooth and the enzymes in his stomach.

Because between these trees, there are no rules of mercy, boys.

Only the wolf’s rules –

My rules. 

You decided to lay your foundations on land that I designate as my own, and began to throw miscreant parties – unbeknownst to you, at my expense.

Like the wolf, I don’t branch away from the place I call home – I protect it at all costs, and I expect silence as the immediate result.

But something tells me, like the pigs in our little story, that the three of you just aren’t ready to simmer down.

Something tells me that you’ve got a little bit more infrastructure planned – a little bit more dust to pick up – a little bit more noise to create –

But I say that your ambitious handiwork ceases now.

I say that you take the things that you came into this territory with, as well as heed of this complimentary warning call before things get… a little messy.

Because I’m all for earning – but far more invested in the earned.

earned this land.

I earned this silence.

And I’ve earned the cease and desist of those that have carelessly trespassed – either from unfortunate naivety or the ignorance of mettle – and the measures at which I must take for it to be delivered.

I don’t shame you for your ambitious ways, piggies. You came into this world leather-clad, with balls of titanium, eager to set it on fire with an attitude and ardor likely trademarked by Mr. Thorogood himself –

But you failed to respect the wolf that lives within the pines.

You failed to respect me.

And how unfortunate that is – since the wolf is here now.

Because there’s no other choice –

No other recourse –

But to blow all of your houses down.