Proper-tea, Part I

In Promo, Stubbins Doom by DOOM

[DOOM stands in the kitchen area of The Doom Factory before numerous items set aside on the counter. He places them all in a line with his gloved hand.]

[DOOM] A few items and the right methodology are required to brew the perfect cup of tea.

[He first grabs the cup.]

[DOOM] A simple and effectual utensil. Some might consider this the most important item. On the surface, it’s porcelain. It doesn’t retain heat for any period of time or provide taste. There’s nothing particularly spectacular about it.

[DOOM] It’s a container that holds the liquid.

[DOOM shrugs.]

[DOOM] This is you, Colt. You’re the cup.

[He puts the up down and then picks it up again, only to put it down.]

[DOOM] Easily manipulated, you bend to the will of the person holding it. You’re only full when they allow you to be. You’re put down when not in use and picked up when needed. The cup isn’t sentient and let’s face it, if that existence you call life is sentient, we’re all in trouble, are we not?

[DOOM giggles slightly and picks up the tea bag.]

[DOOM] This is the tea bag. A small porous sealed packet containing tea leaves. The maker will place this inside the cup. It’s from this that the flavour originates.

[He places it back down on the counter.]

[DOOM] And much like this tea bag, Lionel Troy has filled you with all that torrid and pungent flavour, hasn’t he? He’s put inside you the knowledge of Zion – amongst other things, I’m sure. All that disinformation and lies, ready and waiting to be brewed. The cup doesn’t yet runneth over but the tools are there.

[DOOM picks up a tub of sugar, looking at it from the side.]

[DOOM] A good cup of tea needs at least one sugar. For you to be effective, the pot needs to be sweetened somewhat. You won’t do what you need to do and quench the thirst of Lionel Troy unless you’ve been sweetened with something.

[He pops it back down.]

[DOOM] So that goes in too.

[Felix Foley was standing out of frame this entire time. He walks in and stands at the counter as Doom backs off slightly.]

[DOOM] All these items are required to brew the perfect up of tea, Colt. A perfect storm if you will. You’re the cup that he fills with his lies in the form of tea and his promises in the form of sugar. He knows exactly what’s needed to make sure that when he makes you, he quenches his thirst.

[DOOM shrugs, walks over and flicks on the kettle.]

[DOOM] The final thing he needs is to piece these ingredients and utensils together, boil the kettle, pour hot water and brew.

[He stops.]

[DOOM] And that’s where the methodology comes into play. Because one can have all the right ingredients, and all the right utensils, but brewing the perfect cup of tea requires a method.

[DOOM] I don’t make the tea, Mr. Ramsey.

[DOOM] I drink it.

[DOOM] So, I’ll let my partner show you the way…