In Damien Wolfe, Promo by Damien Wolfe

Do you know what’s fun for good old Conservator Wolfe? Having people asking him all the time, “Sign off on this for me”, “Grant me this permit”, and my favorite, “It’s for the orphans”. 

I am sorry if I sound sarcastic, I’m really not. People who’re truly desperate will do anything to even get a glimpse of making their lives better. Most become no better than puppets, so willing to be manipulated for just a taste of the life they think they want. 

They’ll give the Wolfe anything he wants, they’ll dance like marionettes for him, they will feed the Wolfe, and provide him with the delights a man of his position deserves.  

It’s fun to make them dance to the Wolfe’s tune, make them praise the Wolfe, then to cut their strings, and watch them fall. 

Which brings me to a few weeks ago when a very Friendly chap walked right into the Wolfe’s den, room 3B. He wanted be an educator and voice to all of Arcadia’s younglings showing them a better way in life. 

It was then I began to educate him on how the world actually works, it’s an old legal term, quid pro quo, and what did he offered the Wolfe? 

A fucking toy that apes my appearance to mock me and a fowl mouth plaything that encourages his violence against me. 

All the while he believes himself to be the Puppetmaster. Now I’ll give him credit he knows how to use those toys of his to entertain and delight the empty-headed plebs. 

He can make near everyone smile and clap their hands with joy, in fact he’s brought everyone joy but one man… Damien Wolfe. 

The one man that he should’ve been nice to. The one man that he should’ve attempted to make happy. He chooses to mock and debase him to his face and in front of the whole of Arcadia. 

But don’t worry Felix you’ll dance for the Wolfe just like Howard Handupme or whatever the name of that piece of felt and garbage you have constantly berating me is. 

Because I still hold your future in my hands and it isn’t too late to play nice. 

So, if you want your little application approved, you’ll walk into Mount Olympus, you’ll lay that Conservator Wolfe puppet of yours at my feet, a peace offering if you will, and you will let me beat you into unconsciousness. 

All the while at the same time you’re teaching the whole of Arcadia that you can’t fight the order of Zeus, that any rebellion is bound to end in failure. 

You see, it’s this for that, it’s that old legal term again, quid pro quo. You’ll dance like one of your own puppets from start to finish.  

You will prove that you’re no different than anyone else in Arcadia, if you want to get anywhere you pay tribute, you’ll pay the Wolfe like everyone else, and if not, you’ll have your strings cut.  

“Nothing personal… it’s just how Arcadia works.”