Rough Rider

In Promo by Tag

“You guys remember that dirt bike I used to own?”

“I absolutely loved that thing, man. I hopped up on that bad boy and it was smooth sailing as soon as I took off down the road.”

“But, you know, no matter how good it felt to ride it couldn’t always be a the best ride.”

“Sometimes the road gets rough, rocks kick up that you weren’t expecting, and even though the dirt bike is meant to run on all terrain you end up eating shit.”

“You remember, right?”

“I smacked the ground harder than Luke Storm’s movies flopped. Fucking demolished on the gravel and my bike was all kinds of torn up.”

“Big ass cuts on my head, rocks in my skin, I looked like Pyre’s pussy…”

“Fucked up and sad.”

“But despite how rough the landing was, I knew that the bike was still good, I just found a rough patch that I needed to look out for.”

“So I hauled it back up, rolled it to the garage, and I got to fixing it.”

“The bike was worth saving, and I wasn’t going to let it crash and burn because of one little fuck up, right?’

“It wouldn’t make sense.”

“Now, I ended up losing that bike a few years ago, y’all know that. Hit a rough patch I couldn’t recover from and the bike was totaled.”

“JSR… it’s a lot like that dirt bike, man. It’s a beautiful ride I wouldn’t give up for the world, you know? The riding has always been smooth as hell, lubed with that premium friendship, right?”


“But fuck man, we hit the mother of all rough patches recently. JSR slipped right out from under us and we slammed face first into the gravel.”

“I’m talking head over heels left with scrapes, bruises, and way more blood on the concrete than Wiz would be comfortable with.”

“All because some gravel named Viper decided to get in our way.”

“Now, our friendship ain’t looking the best right now. Nah, there’s scratches on the paint, the muffler’s dented, and that chain’s practically torn straight off.”

“I won’t lie, it looks like shit.”

“But that’s the thing about a relationship like ours, a bike like I had, even when you crash and burn, you always wanna fix what happened.”

“And unlike that bike, I ain’t gonna let one big rough patch like this fuck up JSR forever.”

“We’re gonna get in that ring and we’re gonna build this shit back together.”


“You ain’t gonna like it, because I’m gonna treat this like a bike too.”

“I’m gonna tear you guys apart, beat the shit out of you until you’re just a pile of parts and pieces before I start to rebuild.”

“It’s gonna be long, it’s gonna piss you off, but I ain’t letting JSR die because we decided to ride on a dented rim, man.”

“We’re gonna recover from the crash.”

“And we’ll be riding smooth.”

“Now do ya boy Tag a favor, right?”

“And put your heads between my legs to kiss your win goodbye.”